24 & 25 June Journal

Good Morning Folks, It’s Saturday. YAY!! I have a few things to do today but not much going on.

Good morning again folks, its sunday. My phone rang yesterday at the time i started my post and never got to it again. funny what happened yesterday and I kinda jumped for joy when I had my conversation. Mr. Sweetness who came to see me last week called and has apologized at greeat length to me. He has said that the doctors visit resulted in finding he just scratched his ear. Also that the Doctor has removed all prescritions and refills for the pills he has been abusing. HIs words were inteligible, and he was really wanting to start again. I did say yes I would give him that second chance. I am willing to put the weekend away and have a new one with a new start. With this I also stated that If I find any pills in any of his stuff whil i visit or he is here, and he is like he was the last weekend, I will send him packing. HE said that was fine, and that is what hhe deserves. The only reason for this is several things. All the sun signs and chinese signs of the zodiac realm say we are meant to be. I only looked at those is due to the fact I had some feelings for him but wasnt quite understanding my feelings. I also spoke to his daughter, whom I have been speaking to very much this past week. (I really do not know why) She said he spent mnday and tuesday doped up. I figured as much as he did not go to the doctor when he was told to. She said that he and her talked at length and actually talked about stopping the pills. SHe said he didnt get mad as normal, he didnt yell, and what ever else he normally did. She also said she was shocked that he didnt yell and argue. I was happy for that and was not feeling to bad about things with him yesterday. 

I say all this because I still have talked to a few others since last weekend and had one date yesterday and an accidental date with a fellow crossdresser and fetishist person that i have know for a few years on friday. Out of all of these folks from the last month or so, Mr. Sweetness is the only person to have calmed my mind and made me feel welcomed and loved reagrdless of his drunkeness last weekend. Some how I have felt comfortable with him. I have yet to have felt comfy in even speaking to anyone much less having met one or two. I am holding out, and am not using any words that would lead him on. I did say to him yesterday that I do like him alot, and that I would like to persue him further. But if he is popping pills and staying doped up then no. I said I am perfectly content and happy being myself and by myself. He said he understands and is not planning on getting anymore of them at all. Which I will be watching and asking about regularly. I cannot describe why I have feelings for this guy. I wasnt really looking for one. Especially with him. My soon to be ex said we look good together in a picture I sent her last week. I didnt notice he wasnt smiling much in the pictures, probably for pills. I some how could keep up with what he was saying, and finish his sentenances, I kept up and remembered what he liked to eat and not eat. I was happy to take care of him in some ways and never felt that good in a while doing the things I did. I was told that it is the hormones. I still have to get used to that. BUt the funny part was, I did it gladly without huffing and puffing which was normal before. (i will probably get a what for later for saying that) I do not know why I felt and did the things I did with him. I cannot see my self with to many of the others I have spoke to in that capacity. So have i screwed myself and the ladies in my life by not being me in the past? 
So last night I went to the drive theater. I went to see Wonder Woman. It was a lovely cool and low humidity evening. I sat in the back of my truck and enjoyed a movie alone. Beef jerky and gatorade for my snack that I got from the grocery. It was a nice to see lighting bugs floating around and breaking up the movie some. As far as the movie goes, I wont spoil it. But it was good and seemed to be a bit slow moving to me in parts. After a few weeks I may speak on things i noticed. But I didn enjoy my alone time doing what I wanted to do with no one to be bothering me. 

I got home showered and pretty quickly got to bed and passed out. I got up and starte my normal sunday morning. Softball today and not much else but the grocery and laundry. Rest and relaxation mostly. I am not sure what I am going to do for dinner. Anyways folks I am off to get breakfast cooked and eaten then do up my lasundry that I have already started. Have a great day everyone!!! 

TTFN 
Love Candi

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