15 June Journal

Wow Folks Its Thursday anf half of this month is over. Lordy where is this year going? all into depression I suppose. As I read into stuff I am finding I am about to be so financially broke that I am going to be living on the streets. 

This has me rather depressed and I am not doing to good with it. I am not wishing to go deeper into the whys of what I have said. I just know that a host of issues all coming at once is going to be leaving me sleeping under the bridge at the loosahatchi river. Hopefully I wont get caught doing that in todays world. I will certainly be in jail. Maybe that is the best place for me, in Jail. I have caused so much pain to others in my life that the only place I probably belong is in jail. THe kinda stuff I done has to be crime I am sure. If my dad had is way I would have been beaten to a pulp already, with a major hospital bill on top of all the other stuff. But then I may I still be “him” if had he had done that. 

In other news, well, there is no other news. Life is sucking hind tit and I just am getting to the point where I really do not care. I could care less if I lose everything i ever had or worked for. Whether that be mental work physical work or just job work. If it all goes away i guess I will be so much better off. 

Maybe I am being to pessimistic on evrything also. I am trying my darndest to find the good parts of all this crap i have going on. Yet, when I going good on my attitude someone or something knocks it into the dirt and tramples on it. To be honest, I am not falling apart like i did a month or more ago. I was falling apart rather hard. Now I fall a little and then I am ok. Especially if I get some sleep then rethink the issues the next morning. MOst of that is I have either gotten used to it or learned that I need to put things aside until I am rested to give it a better thought process.

Yesterday I left work and ended up going back to work to get my phone which I left on the desk. So I spent a about an hour and a half total yesterday afternoon riding my motor cycle. That could very well be the reason I am not falling apart like I expected. THough I am tired and but I dont feel that bad. 

Well folks I have rambled and rambled to damn long. I need to get ready for work and see what that has in store for me. Hope you all have a great day!!

Love Candi

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