8 June Journal

Good Morning Folks it is thursday., I attempted to sleep in today and ended up with just a back ache from being in bed to long. I went to bed early as I was tired. I should have just gotten up when at my normal time because I am also starting to get a headache.

I guess some things are happening faster than I expected. Granted I want to get through this stuff but I was dealing with other issues and am still recovering from that issue. Along with dealing with a mental snafu I did not expect. However somehow or another I am actually doing way better than I thought I would be. I Am sure I will get through all this and the world i have been attempting to create will get better than I have at the moment. I do believe that many of my current problems are only in my head. I have been allowing them to get me all in a tisy and setting me into an area I really did not intend to be. BUt I think i am close to leaving all that behind. I know I have one holiday that will probably get me down., I hope it doesnt but I will find out when it comes. 

This year as I stated a few weeks ago in a post, has been a year of relearning and loss. Relearning who I am and what sets me into those tisy’s. Also dealing with the loss of family and friends who, at this time, no longer wish to accept or even tolerate what I have become. Now with that said I have a friend or two that love me to death. Even among all the their own issues, have taken time out to get to know me again as I have changed and have been more than just accepting but even supportive. As Much has it hurt to see her leave, my wife has been in that catagory for some of it. She just couldnt handle that I am no longer him and had to go away. The greatest thing, as much as I will possibly catch flack, is my ex wife and my daughter who has become rather close friends again. After years of being an ass, my daughter finally likes me better than ever before. My ex, she is astonished at the changes and has been really well supportive and helpful in many ideas I have and how to get there. I do have another friend who is very supportive. She has been helpful in so many ways. but ya know we all have to do our own thing as well. I have been there for these folks too when they needed an ear to speak to and lean on. THough in all this I have to do one thing greater than anything, my wife as well, Learn to be myself at the costs of what ever they may be. ITs not worth the trouble of being miserable with yourself just to be friends with the people who truely do not care. Oh yeah they all like “bless your heart” to your face, after you walk past they be like “What a bitch, how can they do that?” then stab you in the back. THis city of memphis is greatly full of that kind of person. I have seen it every day at work and in public and people never even know that i noticed. I am so not used to that kind of BS. Funny part is, they are all church going, God and Jesus PReaching folks every time you speak to them. THen they turn arounf and do what I mentioned above. I SO NEED OUT OF THIS CITY>

Well folks I do need to get moving on my day. I have to sit in a class today. I am not looking forward to sitting in a class but i have to do it. Thats just life as a supervisor. Hope you all have a great day!!

Love Candi

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Selina says:

    I’m glad that your ex and daughter are stepping up…if people can’t love and accept you for who you are and are becoming then they don’t need to be a part of your world! It’s hard to let ppl go but the benefits of it can’t be explained!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. candicejune says:

      You’re correct

      Liked by 1 person

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