15 May journal

Good Monday morning folks, I’m dragging today. I just have that funny feeling that i may fall apart again. I’m tried my best not to yesterday. May be i just should have let it come. Then I’d be fine and dandy today. But i didn’t so here i am fighting for mental survival again. This is really getting old.

As mother’s day came and went, my only interaction was mistress who texted me a few times. Like i said I’m not a mother so i did not expect a word from my kids. Mistress did say she will not be addressing me at father’s day, I’m a mom in her eyes now. However, while everyone was enjoying company and doing what ever it was they do, i had an entire day alone. I did attempt to go motorcycle riding with someone yet they were also busy. Everyone i tried to speak with was busy. I did send an email to my own mother. To which I’ve not gotten a response. I guess that’s fine too. I’m figuring, that what i need to really learn, silence and abandonment is my life now. I really just need to accept that fact. I’m not the greatest person in the world, i know that, i just didn’t know that i was the worst one. Least wise that’s what I’m getting out of all this.

So I’ve got a great deal of things going on. Mostly here at work right now. As i got that silly training stuff done, I’m glad that’s over for now. It was something that i did learn something on. So it wasnt really a waste totally, but still i could have gotten so much more done than sit in front of a computer for like six hours this weekend.

Anyways folks time to get busy working. Hope you all have a great day.

Love Candi

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