4 May journal

Good Thursday morning folks. It’s pouring rain here. Was a nice little relaxing slow rain when i got up. Now it’s pouring down.

Went to bed late and couldn’t sleep. So I’m a tired lady today and may not act like one due to that. Not really much going on, just tired.

As i try to figure out where I’ve lost in some of my friendships, i remember so many of the good things we shared. All but a memory now. I feel sad for many of them. As i do feel I’m the fault to much of what has happened to others I’ve known. Especially a few in the last couple or three years of Perrine that were in my life and now not, i worry about them alot. These people are special and i hope maybe someday we’ll be friends again. I’m not sure what i did to lose that friendship, maybe it’s due the best, but, time will tell i suppose. I wish them all happiness in the future and hope that our paths may cross again in a better day and future than the past we so desperatly despair.

Today I’m fading fast. You’d think I’d learn by now that i can’t sit up half the night and expect to function. Not to mention the lack of sleep and fatigue causes me to mentally crash and get depressed and fall apart. Though I’m actually feeling mental tired and not feeling deoressed this go around. But if i don’t get some rest tonight i may just go to pieces. I sure do not want that.

Speaking to a friend today. She’s falling apart. She feels that the Memphis area is just bullies. That’s how i feel to. But I’m not letting the Memphis area kill me. I’m gonna get out of this forgotten place sooner or later. Hopefully sooner. Sadly it’s so pretty around here aside from the trash folks throw all over the place. I guess there’s a pretty place with no trash and crime like Memphis.
Anyways folks in at my therapst office. So i guess i better end here. Hope you all have a great day. Or at least what’s left of it.

Live Candi

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