2 May Journal

Good Morning Folks Its tuesday. I cannot believe i am writing this morning. An odd change compared to the last 6-7 weeks. I am not full of tiredness today. Matter of fact I was tossing and turning part of the night for the last hour or so of sleep. BUt since I have no clock or TV in the bedroom I cannot say what time it was. I do have an older samsung tablet that is the alarm to get up with. IT doesnt stay lit up to see the clock part of it. That is the only electronic item in my bed room at night. So there you have it, i get to sleep electronic free. LOL

I have been reallly working on not smoking cigarettes. I actually do not have any this morning either. Only a vape thingy that doesnt have the carcinogens that cigs have. The Nicotine level may or maynot be high enough. BUt that is fine, I am craving the carcinogens anyway. Since I have had no cigs since about 4PM yesterday may be the reason that I was tossing and turn this morning. I Am actually getting oxygen and not a lung full of carcinogenic smoke. It is definately going to take some time to get used to the no smoking thing. I had all but quit several months ago. IT took several months to get there also. Then when Mistress left, along with the work stress, and then the allowing of a stressful co worker, I ended up to about 2 packs a day. I never smoked that much ever before. SO i am working hard to get down to nothing. The only problem I have found is, that since I have no cigs, I will sit in my chair at work even longer and not be up moving around like i was when I got up to smoke. 

I have had so many changes happening in the last year. its been almost 12 months since i Started HRT, the pains of internal fights have gone, the chronic headaches are gone, i feel better about myself, and my body is changing. MY HEart rate, cholestoral and BP are all good, extrememly good. I have had a great deal of stressors in the last year as well. I have managed to deal with them and move forward. Even though I thought i would never get past those stressors. I still have a ways to go in several areas of my transition, but all is going pretty well. I cannot complain about much to be honest. 

ITs now 0330 and I do need to get ready for work. Though I really am not wanting to go to work. I need a new job where I can be the cute me and not the mechanic me. Even though I am female at work and living life as one, I feel stuck in this world of male dominance and wearing a work uniform of dark blue with yellow stripes just isnt all that cute. Anyways folks Have a great day. 

Love Candi

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