16 April Journal

All is well folks, it’s Sunday and i had a mental health weekend. It’s well after 7 pm and Easter is all buta memory. Fur me it was house cleaning day again. About all i made headway on was the room where the girl i work with is staying. i ended​up with such a mess in my bedroom that it’ll be another week beforei get it back into order. 

I sat yesrtday for a while on the bank of the Tennessee River. One thingi didn’t remember was that it flows North. I didn’t catch that part. anyways i sat where the native Americans were when they were crossing  river during what is known as the tail of tears. I’ve had my own tail of tears lately. Mostly mental, unlike the hardships​of my ancestors, still a hardship none the less. I’ve had to come to terms on things at so many levels. I’ve not been down in over a week, yet felt that the journey i needed was still in need of being walked about. I’m far from finished yet I’m on my way to making myself such a better person that it’s sometimes a bit scary. I can say one thing is for sure, I’m way happier then I’ve been in my entire life. Yes, at timesi kick myself in the rump for what he did. There was some little hick ups that had me really second guessing myself, being pissed at myself, and wanting to end the paini had in many ways. Mostly by hara-kiri. But i passed that hurdle. I’m lovely and happy. I told my wife today that maybe i was not meant to have a relationship. This will be the third time I’ve lost a Love, or is it? 

Well, it’s after eight. I need to pass out and get going on the night. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow. hope you all havea great night, or day depending on where you are. 

Ttfn 

Love Candi 

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