13 april journal

Good morning folks, it’s Thursday. I’m only planning on working until 8 this morning then I’ve got appointments all day. Hopefully a day to disconnect for a bit. And tomorrow too. It’s also Easter weekend. Here there is a big deal about Easter unlike what I’m used to. I think that being on hormones has made certain things a but more​ noticeable. 

Ya know, it’s been a rough 6 wks. Lots of ups and downs happen through life. But the last six weeks, the downs have really out weighed the ups. I am trying to work on that. Making the ups more enjoyable and to out weigh the down even more than before. At least I’m going to try and make it work anyways. But you never know what you’re going to get. Yet it’s up to each of us to decide what kinda of attitude we wish to have no matter what’s in front of us. 

So I’m at my doctors appointment now. Doing the usual waiting. Lol, but if you aren’t on time they may not see you. That’s the way most doctors are anyways. Mine, usually isn’t like that. However I’m never late. They are pretty good about getting you in and out and in a friendly personal way. I really enjoy coming here. Same with my dentist. God forbid i move and have to start over on all this. Not sure if where i want to be will have a friendly doctor to my needs. But unless i research it I’ll never know. i probably should in the areas i have in mind. 

As my life and Mistresses life both begin to change, hopefully for the better of both of us, we are trying to work through our issues and stay friends. Hopefully we both find ourselves and possibly eachother again. But right now we are both having a tough time. It’s hard to go through what we been going through. Even harder to see and or hear how the other had been​ changing. Even when it is you that are changing and the idea of life and how it should be becomes different. I’ve said and will say it again here, i cannot begin to totally understand how she feels or even what she is going through. I do know that i feel it’s my fault, she does to. Fact is, it’s mostly mine for not being open about myself. But now that’s old news and we are dealing with the present. The present dues have it’s issues. Mistress feels angry and cheated. I understand yet in somewaysi do not. It’s life and we really need to focus on now and moving forward. Or one if not both of us will be stuck in limbo forever. I knowi don’t want that at all. 

Anyways folks, I’m going to sit and wait some more. I hope you all havea great day. 

Ttfn 

Love Candi

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