4 April journal

So folks Monday has come and left this week. It’s Tuesday and I’m no worse than wear on myself. 

I did write yesterday and never finished it. Mostly due to time constraints. Oh well maybe I’ll get to it and finish it up this after noon. Yes I’m still worn slap out. It turned into another late night of tears and reasoning. Mistress was over and we hada couple errands to run. We got done and loaded a few more things into the car. I don’t think either one of us can handle doing it all at once. Besides, she has no place to put it all. 

It makes me really sad that I’ve put her through this. It makes me sad that we both have to choose something that will hurt the other in one way or another. That’s really where my biggest issues are. It’s not ifi love love her or her me. It’s about what we are comfortable with. If she stays she will have to give up quite a bit. I will have to give up things to. I’m not really sure she needs to give up the things she is going to have to give up. I don’t feel that we will be Happy knowing that we’ve asked or feel forced to give up something just for someone else. I really do feel that we need some time to restart our relationship. We both have to come to terms with what we want need and feel from and about the other. This entire decision thing has gotten me in the dumps. It’s so hard, and it’s rather tough for either of us to make the decision of what we need, rather than what we want. Actually it hurts. 

Anyways my day has been full of idiotic crap. I can’t deal with. At least right now. It seems the more people are talking about how good they are, the more they prove how worthless they are within five minutes. I never claim to be the smartest person on Earth or even in my world, but i do know a thing or two because I’ve seen and done a thing or two. if you ask for something andi get it for you, don’t complain it’s wrong if you told me the wrong thing. 

Well I’ve got to get back to what I’ve got in front of me at work. Hope you all havea great day. 

Ttfn

Love Candi

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