30 March journal

Good morning folks it’s Thursday. Though i thought it was Thursday last evening. This week is dragging and yet flying. I’ve not had much of an opportunity to rest in the evenings like I was. Which is something i need to do. 

I was up late working on that project for wel work on Tuesday night. I’m pretty well done with it finally. I’m still working with the vendor on the last couple of items. Then that portion will be completed. Hopefully that will catch up every thing with them. But somehow i doubt it. 

Everyday is a new adventure in the changes my body has. Like today and over the last couple months, my left boob is finally catching up to my right. Yes they’ve been both growing. But the right seemed and was considerably larger. Fat deposits are changing up more so now as well. rarely am i miss gendered​with the exception of my height. Even one of my girl friends said the other day, that my height was the only thing that would get me noticed. She is correct, it does get me attention. However most folks can’t tell and they sure do not confront this amazon bitch lol. 

Other than that, things are good. Mistress is still pretty much on the fence about what she really wants. She does need some guidance and I’m hoping that she finds it in counseling at some point. I know this is hard on her. I cannot know exactly how she feels. I can have some idea, but that is about it. She does seem upset that I’m seemingly unaffected by this. Honestly i am really emotional on some days others I’m pretty good. I did tell her that I can’t​just wallow in a depressed state. I did that for over 40 years. I’m happy with me for a change and i have a much better Outlook on life now. I sure didn’t want us split up. But i do not hold her at fault for leaving. I wanna stay friends, but, i wanted to stay together forever as a couple. It doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. But one never knows for sure. I definitely will not be defeated ever again. I’m not seeking any type of love or sexual sexual relationship. I havea few close friends that i will hang out with and chat with from time to time, and that’s it. I’m happy and I’m learning, oops, relearning who I am. If I’m single the rest of my life, well, so be it. I’m not ready for another relationship right now. 

Well folks, I’ve rambled and tambled long enough. Hope you all havea great day. 


Love Candi

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