23 march Journal

Good Morning Folks its thurdsday already, wow this week has flown by in a sense, yet, not very productive. The world is crazy and today is no exception. The third attempt now to write this post as I keep hitting a button and losing everything I wrote. Mind you it was not intentional. Today I have been on HRT Therapy for ten months. What A ride I have had. Lots of ups and downs. Hopefully the future will bring more ups than downs. Because this isnt Knottingham, lol. A WP Friend told me that I need to hang on for the ride. Which I have, though many times I thought I would lose my grip. Somehow I managed to hang in there. 

As I have become just one of the ladies in the crowd, and the new has worn off, I am becoming more comfortable with me. It is still a tough go as I learn to handle things way different than I used to. Brute strength isnt the right way, especially now that I do not have that strength like i used to. BUt that comes with the territory i suppose. HOwever I have realized that I am a stronger woman than I thought i would be. That is mentally I am speaking on, well physically too as I am much bigger in teh muscle department than some. Still I am no male anymore. Mentally, if i were to allow myself, I could be a dangerous person. Not one to fuck with. As I’ve become more me and not hiding, i realize that i don’t need to be kicked and beaten like my male self did. 

I hate wheni have premonitions, they usually come true 98% of the time. much like the one yesterday​. I all of a sudden got a sinking feeling that my marriage was not going to survive this transition. Sure enough, Mistress came over. She had to come clean about the  inability to to move forward together. The needs of her mind out weight the love we have. I’m hurt by it but I’m sure I’ll get over it. At least i hope so. 

I’m at my therapist office waiting for my normal appointment. Seems i still have much work to do. Then i get to go back to the place that did my DOT physical and get them to fix their fuck up. I got my license reduced due to a fowl up on their part. Hopefully we do not have to pay again. I’m so hating idiots, they all ID-10-t forms. Gosh it’s stupid. 

So lastly, I got a gentleman caller come to the door a while ago. I was asked if my huband was home. I said no, he isnt. Mr Donald said he could look at my lawn mower and maybe get it fixed. I replied back yes I think he could, but the person Donald is refering too is me. He looks back all quizically I said its is me. He finally agreed tht I could come see his mower. He left sstating ok I dont understand but thanks for coming down Ma’am. I tried and hopefully succeeded in not laughing my ass off from pure joys. SO I met him down the street about 5 houses and looked at his lawn mower, told him what he needed and then we and donald all chatted for 45 minutes about little ol me. LOL It was great that the older fellows have no issue with me and call me ma’am. That was a great end to the day. 

With that I am off to softball pratice. Have a great evening folks. 
TTFN
Love Candi

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