Well folks, it’s Friday, St. Patties day. I’ve been in fairly good spirits today. I honestly think I’ve had a turn around mentally. I’ve been on hormones for almost ten months. It’s been a crazy ride, as well as emotional. The emotions have been bad the last month especially. In the increase of both spiro and estrogen did take it’s toll. But other outside influence had it’s toll on it also. Which really made the emotions go into overdrive. I’ve spoke on all that before and see no need just yet to include it on this post.
I’ve made no measurements but the breasts are really coming along. I am still wearing the same size bra as i was in September. However I’m filling them up more and more seemingly daily. My hips seem to be getting the fat deposits they need as well. Even Mistress has noticed that.
Now my weight that’s another story. Up and down all the time. Sometimes ten pounds a day. That’s rather mind boggling if you ask me.
It is sunday morning once again and I needed to finish this post before i go get ready for my day. In the HRT front and sex, well, when I do get the notion for sexual pleasure, which is rare these days, I have learned that the touches required are so much different than they used to be. It used to be about being rough, now its about sensual pleasure. Gentle touches and different places are now required. When the BIG O hits, it is so mind blowing compared to before. Its really hard not to be noisy during the orgasm and they last for like ever!. Holy wow!!! So now I wanna experiment with other things like the ever pleasurable, (so I’ve been told), Hitachi wand. I have my share of other things to play with that I have not even played with since starting HRT. I do not know if I am scared of the outcome or just not interested. It is something I need to spend an evening doing, learning my own body again. Because I know that if I do not know my own body how can I know what I like. So I do, yes have a lot of work to do in that department.
So I also have had a long month of learning me and my mentality and body in other ways too. I learned that the lack of rested mind and body, leaves me a crazy fucked up mess of; impossible demands that my body cannot keep up with, Emotional wreck with tons of tears, and the inability to process what I need to process for a healthy mind. I turn dark and dreary and its a wierd ass damn feeling. I used to go for 10-12 hour work days. Now 8-10 is enough if not to much. I despise being interupted in the middle of my tasks, which I’ve always been that way. I have learned that I do more than I originally thought, analyze everything to death with a plan finally in place to account for every contingency. I rationalize more rather than react yet I am still a defensive person if confronted. So I am learning to keep my mouth shut, stop when I am tired and nap if it is needed. Otherwise I am just a messed up mess of a messy person LOL.
I have been full time female and have had my name and gender changed on all needed documents. Drivers License and Social Security card. I am about to work on my Passport with help from the local LBGT center. I still have to make it to Texas to adjust my Birth Records. Though The funds and the confusion of what is actually required are proving a bit diffiult. I will make down there.
Well Peoples I gotta Run, Hope you all have a great day.