22 January Journal

Good Morning folks it sunday. I actually slept a while this morning and still even now im up early for most of the world. Its like 6 am and I slept pretty good for a while then i was just tossing and turning so I got up. 

I do have some work to get accomplished today. THat is work stuff from work and some house cleaning to do. That doesnt count going to the grocery and balancing my bank book. Luckily the work syuff wont take that long if I get on it. The house work will take a bit to do. SO I Am trying to decide wha I need to do first. Besides wake up.

At the time that I laid down and passed out last night, I knew of some storms to come through. But I didnt hear a thing. I didint even hear MIstress COme in to the Bathroom to do her thing after noght out. I Just didnt know anything for hours. We are supposedly in for more storms here later today from what the wearther man just said. So We Will see if it happens.

I am still kind of in a fog this morning. I am not thinking to well. PRobably due to the tiredness I have or the meds I am taking for this cold and crud I have. Things still taste like muddy water. Even My  lovely coffee is nasty. We are supposed to go shoe shopping this morning but I do not see that happening. Even though I need some shoes for the BAnquet that I am unsure of going to. That decision is due to some people at work that are not being happy about me transitioning. I sure do not wish to offend anyone, but yet i have already done that havent I? I also do not wish to get into a fight or argument either. So with that I am still undecided on what  should or shouldnt do. I was unsure before, now I am even more leaning to the I dont want to go than I was before. I have created so much strife in my wifes world that I kinda want to crawl into a hole and never come out again. At the same time I still really want to move on forward and be a pillar of the community even though I am a now a female. I also think of my own words about this, “i cannot expect others to accept this in 5 minutes. Especially if I took over thirty years to do so for myself.” So I have to become resolved to be myself and be happy and not let others deter me in what I need to do or where I am invited to go or other otherwise. Yet I still worry about it some. Lately its become really a non-issues usually until a week ago when My HRT was upped. SO I do think that I am still adusting to that increase in dosage. BUt I have always worried about the world i live in being shaken up, or even capsized. I should not worry about the people in my world except my wife. I know that. I am rambling thoughts out on to the paper/electronic media.I have to think about this also; for the one nay sayer, i have even more accepters or supporters. So I do not know why I am worried about it so much.

My Toes with the ingrown issues feel so much better than they have in months. THe lad that did my nails from start to finish really got all the junk out. I slept good finally for that reason as well as thte fact iwas really tired I got pink placed on them this go around and Mistress said I should have gotten something else to match the purple dress for the banquet. I Guess I really still have quite a bit to learn now dont I? I just didnt see any colors that screamed at me to be on my nails. Thte only thing that popped out was pink. I also know I just cannot do blue. I wear blue every single day at work and blue Nails is just to much blue. I am sure I will be OK with my nails either way I go, IF i go at all.

Well I need t0 get myself moving on the cleaning that is due to be done. Also get the work stuff done, Then move on to resting again. As I know I need it. Going out on a friday just isnt in the cards for me very often for this very reason. I also need to work on some breakfast too. HAHA Well I think in a day or two my posts will get back into a more chipper up beat mood. I am rather tired of the down and out posts. But thats where ive been lately. Not to mention the lack of sunshine for a couple weeks. That puts me in a down mood if its cloudy to damn long. Like today is another cloudy day. Yesterday was sunny for a while then it got cloudy again. 

Have a great day folks!
Love Candi

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