14 January Journal

Well, friday the 13th is past. I know several folks in a few places that glad its over. Mistress is no exception. Her job has gotten rather crappy. The coworkers are worthless and spend time doing their nails while at work which is grounds for termination. A doctors office is not the nail salon and could set off the allergies of patients, or irritate them enought to get sick to their stomach. THat issue was on top of others that Mistress had to deal with. She seems to me to be getting the short end of the stick. I get this feeling they are trying to make her quit. Its been getting rather crappy for her sinec they found out about me. Not that it wasnt already crappy. And I really hope it is not my fault. I dont know why i feel that i am to blame for things that dont go right to people around me. Epecially since I started transitioning.

So I have a fellow flirting wth me pretty heavy on FB. He seems nice enough and my ex calls him perv. I think she and him are friends some how or another. Anyway by my calculations he was born in 1968, which places me still at least 100 yeasrs older than this guy. He was also born on the same day as me but a different month. This guy Loves Purple, same with a good friend, my mother, and another friend that I hang with on occasion as she has kids at home and cannot get away very often. This guy knows I am trans and is undeterred in speaking to me and being a flirt. I am finding that rather cute to me. I am married and it can only be Idle flirting with no direction. I think the correct word is platonic? THen he is attampting to call me Candi, good grief dude, I dont know you that well. I promptly said to him that only close friends can call me that. He isnt in that catagory yet.

As usual I am up at 4 am…WHYYYYYY!  I just woke up. I tried to lay on the couch and go back to sleep, nothing, yet i am tired and cannot sleep. ITs the stress at work I know. All I have done all week is attempt to keep things running, try to file 2.5 years worth of paperwork, along with settting up the files that never got correctly set up, deal with past due bills, and get my ass chewed on. It was just that kind of a week. 

I been seeing a lot of stuff lately about women and rights and what not. I have a fb friend and she complains all the time about repression and crap. Always posting stuff of the like. I get rather tired of seeing it actually. I am thinking, if she was a bit more positive, maybe she wouldnt have so much trouble. She also supposed to be a trans leader in our town. I am thinking that she needs a change in attitude. THen I read about pay scales and stuff. It is rather sad that women do not make as much as men. THere are plenty of women that are more capable of the job and tasks at hand than many men. The men have gotten rather complacent about the jobs they are to be doing in general. Not every man is in that boat, but, just because they have a tally wacker hanging between their leg they feel entitled to what ever it is they want. I know I was there as well. But now i see the injustice and feel that it is andhas been wrong. Even the males are the ones with the biggest of issues towards trans folks, primarily trans women. Take the new Texas proposal on trans women. We wont be allowed to use the restroom in ANY public/government place that is in align to our gender presentation. Trans men are not being affected. The reasoning is men can defend themselves. I think that is horse shit, little boys in the mens room are just as much prey as women. Testosterone is a power thing, and who is to say the things they are trying to protect agains wont happen in reverse? I suppose they never seen a woman protect herself or her children. I sure as hell will not allow any woman to get hurt in the restroom if i can help out, or any other place for that matter. Harming the most prescious gift on this earth is just not and never has been on my blood. Men cannot give birth to another living thing. Yes they have a hand in the creation of, but not the 9 or so months of pregnancy and then to bear the children in birth with the body changes and things that happen afterwards, a man would die if he had to go into true labor. Yet the men feel they are superior to women. HHAA, If only i had been born correctly I could have been in that group as well. But I never fit in either side, and in many cases was repressed by male dominance, as i am no dominant male. BUt i also experienced many pluses of male privledge. And some of those pieces I am not sure i actually deserved had people know how i really was. So as I ponder all this, and wonder how I will be supporting Mistress and myself if I change jobs, i wonder if i should just put up with the dealings at work or attempt to move on. 

Any how folks I best get myself moving a touch so i can get a few things done. We have the monthly meeting tonight and i need to get rested for that as well as getting things accomplished around the house as a 90 hour week has left us both in a state of uncareing and the house has gotten rather disgusting, again. 

Hope you all have a great day.

Love Candi

2 Comments Add yours

  1. georgiakevin says:

    My heart goes out to you and to your Mistress ma’am. i hurt for you both. i hope that your weekend is filled with precious memories!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s