11 December Journal

Well Folks, Its sunday Morning. BRain power is at a premium price today. Another Saturday spent at work, then after spent doing repairs on my truck that wouldnt start again yesterday morning. Though at 17 degrees and no block heater, a fuel filter that wasnt replaced in like 10 years, and worn out fuel pump, I just cant imagine why it wouldnt start.

So Friday, a friend and i went t oget grab a bite to eat after making some repairs on my truck, thinking that, that would repair the problem. SO we had not even spoke or ordered, and I was called sir. We were both apalled at this. The girl that brought out our food was apologetic. Yet I took it rather badly. I dont know why it did, but it did. Prior to tuesday it didnt bother me much, yet now its like a knofe in the heart. Especially if it comes from a stranger. People who have known me for a few years I understand. if had I not looked the way i did, like wearing guy only clothes and not shaved, i would have understood it. But presenting and from what I am told, Passing more than barely, come on girlly lighten up. but may be i didnt pass at that time I dont know.

AS I begin watching the news, I am apalled at the fact that they go all across the world to find the most destructive and negative things to report on. THis is not national news, its the local news i am watching. If i really wanted to see the world problems i would watch the national news. Besides, I think there is a law in force that states the news is not allowed to report more than 10% of the news cast as positive. Maybe i am being a bit generous on that number. But hey, some one has to try and find some positivity here. 

So yesterday I got up and got ready to go to work. As I stated the pick up wouldnt start, silly diesel and cold weather. So I took Mistress car instead, leaving the bike covered and me warm as i could get. It was a wonderful 17 degrees yesterday morning. WHo says the south doesnt get cold? I told the last of the employees that I am in charge of about me. HE is wonderful about it. for his age I expected a bit of a fight. Yet he tried so hard all day to call me Candice. He is getting it, and I am not pushing that they use my current name. For about three years they have known me as CXXMALEXX. So it will take some time for the plethera of folks at work to get into calling me Candice. I get that and am not really bent out of shape by them having to get used to calling me what they are accustomed to. But as time goes by, it will have to change. Hell I am having issues remembering what to respond to LOL. Really it has not been that hard, except at work. The greatest thing to that point was the Judge calling me Ms. LXXX. I about flooded my basement on the witness stand. I have never been on a witness stand in my life, much less being in court for anything other than a Divorce and one traffic ticket. So i was nervous as hell. But that was a great period of my lfe and i cannot stop the smile I have on my face. Yesterday the Pharmacy tech saw me while i waited my turn to get my order for refills in. SHe and i chatted and they are so great there. I told her and showed her my new DL. She looked and then Looked again. SHe said “you Did it!?”I said yes. “So how does it feel to be Ms. LXXX?” I Was like wonderful. We chatted off and on while i waited. SHe asked about my wife, Calling her Mrs. LXXX #1. I thought that was great. Because Mistress is MRs. LXXX #1. 

Last night we went to a place called Bahama Breeze to eat. A tad more expensive than I wanted to spend, but we deserved and yes we could afford it. WE cannot go there every night or week. But it was worth it. I like the fact that they have a variety of different foods from burgers and mexican type stuff to seafood and steaks. We ordered and Mistress seemed to really like her dinner. A deep fried lobster. She said it was better than the other place we used to go on occasion. I got some pork tenderloin and it was pretty good. Not how I like my flavors typically and i, before HRT may have returned it. Well, I would have ordered a hamburger because you cannot usually go wrong with a cheese burger in paradise, lol. What I have noticed, Since HRT, My tastes in foods and wishing to explore different things has changed. I am finding some things I normally turn my nose up at has become rather tasty. Adding to my palate of tastes seems to be great thing as well. Also last night i had to go to the restroom. I tld my wife where i was going, grabbed my purse and went.I was nervous as hell. I had not been to the restroom in a public establishment alone. There was a little girl hanging out and playing on her phone, an older woman my age at the wash counter doing the same thing. I went straight to the toilet. Did my business as quiclly as i could. Mean while, the older lady left two others came in and a restaraunt employee. I came out washed my hands and dried them off and left, never saying a word. It was rather uneventful in reality. My mind however was racing and very eventful of all the things that can go wrong. 

The other night as my friend and i sat and ate dinner, we talked about our jobs. She is in IT that is typically male. I too have a typically male job of being a mechanic. We disciussed how people have changed toward us in some aspects about who lifts what and what a “woman” knows, vs what a “male” knows. I Have not really experienced the issues of male superiority as of yet like my friend has. But what was nice, was the guy at the parts house carrying a battery for us to the car on friday evening. For me and work, they all know that I know my shit in the world of mechanics, and can do the work regardless of my nails being polished or not. I mean I have only been doing this kind of work since 1989. Does that make me perfect? Hell no, no one is perfect, no one ever will be. Those who think they are, are asses and idiots. Studying the martial arts, you learn that perfection is a road, not a destination. 

Well Folks, I need to get going on my sunday chores. I hope you all have a great day! 

TTFN
Love Candi

6 Comments Add yours

  1. Rachel says:

    Sir is tough. But ma’am can be tough too. And miss. Going on three ft and five since I came out I still have days without confidence. We all do, Cis and trans women alike.

    It is hard to be patient once we are on our road, and being called sir for whatever reason can feel like a setback. What might help is a true conviction that when this happens, the person is normally not doing it to hurt. It is not usually a comment about one thing, voice, carriage, motion, face.

    But as time goes on and you live your life and hrt helps the sirs go away and things are well. You may always have trouble with a person here or there who’s know you forever. Just be forgiving in your heart.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. candicejune says:

      Yes I’m sure. Thanks for your support and guidance. It really isn’t a big deal yet it is. It just got me that day.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. georgiakevin says:

    i love reading your posts, Miss. Candicejune. ((((((((((((((((((long hug))))))))))))))))))) to you and your Mistress from my heart.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. littleannab says:

    Love cheeseburger in paradise “jimmy buffet”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. candicejune says:

      I like mine with lettuce and tomatoes Heinz 57 and French fried potato, big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer good god a mighty which way do i steer for my, cheese burger in paradise. Giggle:-)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. littleannab says:

        *giggle*

        Like

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