27 September, Work, Coming out

Good morning everyone, it’s tuesday. I’ve had a tough day yesterday. Mostly emotional and the good part is that it’s getting better. 

Well folks, Coming out now that I have told my parents and siblings is really easy. It seems, though yet to be proven, that no one cares. My boss seems to be understanding and has been throught this already. ITs really not an issue with him. So I am thinking my time line of going full time may get moved up sooner. THis is depending on the Doctors advise.

With that, i keep replaying the discussion on Saturday to my folks. I sent an apology letter via email. Because i felt that i said words in the wrong context and have them feeling that i blame them for this. I surely did not mean that at all. So I’ve had to re word what i said. Not everything, just little pieces and let them know that i was the one who, for what ever reason, didn’t listen to the teachings of my parents about talking. About just being me, accepting myself and most of all being happy. Once we get through this emotional state and get back to somewhat normal, maybe we can talk again. I even apologized for putting them through so much grief growing up. We did have everything we needed and some of what we wanted while i was a kid. Life really couldn’t be more perfect then. 

Maybe this whole waiting thing was my own fear of getting like I failed. Failing my self, failing them, failing in the works as a whole. Failure hurts, i know, but it isn’t the end of the world. It’s learning. Anyway, I really do need to stop dwelling on the whys and crap of the past. I’ll do that at the therapist office next week, then I’ll BE fine. Right now i really want to go back to bed. This stress has me really worn out. 

Halloween is fast approaching folks, what are you gonna be this year? Me, i have not a clue. Need to discuss this with Mistress. What does she want to be? Then we can go from there. 

It’s time to get busy here working. Maybe do some reading if things go smooth this morning. I’ve got plenty to stay occupied on. Matter of fact probably wont get it all done.

Have a great day everyone.

Ttfn

Love Candi

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