11 SEPTEMBER JOURNAL

Good Morning Folks its Sunday Morning. On this date 15 years ago our nation was attacked by some really cruel people. It has sparked much controversy Over who we should accept and not accept. It did at the time reignite the patriotism of our country that was seemingly lost. Now we have issues of the same loss of patriotism in many. I really dont understand why we cannot stand for the national anthem, cover our hearts and say the pledge of allegience to the flag. I find it is rather heart breaking to see and hear of the things people will not do for the country that tries to protect us. However, our country has leaders with a primary goal, get rich and gain control. I will say we are not the same country i grew up in. For that matter, its not the same for many of us, especially those that have seen 60+ years of changes. So as we go to church, have memorials and spend our sundays being lazy, remember this, we are still a free country. We have the right and ability to be lazy today because of the sacrifice many have made to ensure your right and ability to do such. Pay your respects, and please be repectful to the folks and  country that you are free in.

Now, on with out regularly scheduled programming. 

We went yestarday to a hair salon, It was a wonderful experience. They took the time to wash our hair, do a really good job at talking to us and getting what we want from our hair. MIstress was very happy with her service. She is a tough sell on a hair salon. With her naturally curly hair that is tight curls, not to many folks can cut her hair. She was extremely happy with her service. As was I, being a trans person, I was treated extremely well as one of the girls. This salon also has a fun and joking atmosphere, making the visit a fun experience. The Employees and patrons alike really enjoy being there. I know I been to many barbers and salons over the years, mostly in the last year, with a stiff lip attitude. This made the going to a barber or stylist just unfun and crappy. I will definately go back and get my hair worked again in december. I will take Mistress with me as it will be part of a birthday spoiling event. Aint that just super? I think so.

WE had our parties yesterday evening. They were both enjoyable. However, the second one was the most lively. We had a lovely, fun, cut up, joke and serious talks. Just a bunch if Cis and Trans women doing what we do, Chat and gossip and put eachother down with out being an ass about it.

Today is lovely cool early signs of autum day. Our tempuratures are cooling off i think, finally. I was told yesterday that my haircut was obviously femme. I didnt see it yesterday. Mistress said someone is going to notice. I was like no one will say anything, they never said anything about the earrings, and i stated that I really dont care much anymore. ITs been a year since, actually 13 months, since i started this journey of being myself. I had lost myself and had to rediscover the fact that i am me. I cannot be anything other than what i am, ME. I spent much time from August to March fighting. When i finally came to the conclusion and sought the therapy i needed, i became more at ease. When the HRT started on May 23, I was at even more ease. I have since found a new me that is happy, free and full of life. I have had lots of up and downs in my life. Aside from my children being born and the meeting of my Wife, I have never had the ups that meant as much as the last year of becoming myself.This is an up that isnt going away. Even with the issues of work and the possible loss of my wife a couple months ago, I cannot be happier. I have a couple things today to do that will bring some pain when delivered. However, that pain doesnt seem to be as bad coming as the pains I’ve had pleasing everyone but myself. I dont know why i have this I dont care attitude, its just that life is rather short. I do know i have seen death and destruction, and people that never got what they wanted or needed from the physical life we have. They passed away unhappy, i for one do not wish to be in those shoes. I thought i would be in those shoes, and even tried to be in those shoes. Enlisting in the miltary, going through the fire academy and voluteering while attempting to get on a paid department. Becaue i wanted to do things to be Honorable and pass away in an honorable manner. Those things were not meant to be. THe military assigned me back in my home state. The fire department just wasnt meant to be either as i had to pay bills and support a family. So the duty side of myself said “hey idiot, take care of your family”, So i let some things take presidence. I now am doing for me after all i have done for the sake of my kids and family of the time. Today, even when I am making these drastic changes, My family, my wife that is, is the forefront option of being sure she is taken care of. No matter what I still have a duty to her, forever. But in this i am balancing the me with the her. IT was tough to learn over the last year. But i think i have it soomewhat down. I cannot even say how i will be in a year from now. I do remember the conversations last year about where we will be as this all becomes a reality. WE didnt know. Mistress said we will cross that bridge when we get there. SHe even told me more than once, to be true to myself. So as i have become true to myself, I have found to tha i am finally a happy person. If i die tomorrow, i am good. I can say I gave my all and i was after a lifetime happy with myself in my death. I hope many others will find this same feeling.

As i wrote this i remember that i follow a person. I have not seen from her any posts lately. Cheeky Housewife is out there someplace i hope. I Miss seeing her posts about a number of issues that brought light many subjects that i may not be aware of. 

Well folks, I have rambled enough for today. I gotta get my groceries bought and get Mistress back for her football games. Then i will go back shopping again for afew other things i need. Have a Great Day Everyone

TTFN

Love Candi

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