Comfortable or Not

Good evening folks, yes, I am writing an evening post. The friday evening post to be exact. lol

After reading and exeriencing some things in the last week or so, I have to ask and attempt to answer these questions;

  1.  Do we as a transperson, be it male or female, make others uncomfortable? 
  2. Do we make our selves uncomfortable?
  3. Are Cis-folks making us uncomfortable?
  4. or lastly Are Cis folks making them selves uncomfortable?

I think the real answer, if you look deep enough, is all of the above. I know i didnt ask to be this way. I would love nothing more to hit the start over button and be “right”. Whether a male or female, though in my current state preferably female, I would love to be what i am in the “box” of normalcy. Anyway i am not “normal” and I enjoy life now that I am no longer fighting myself. We dont make them uncomfortable in my opinion, they are already uncomfortable. Just like us, we have been uncomfortable with ourselves and we finally decided not to “fight” anymore. So are they uncomfy or jealous. Deep rooted into some beliefs that are Physically correct yet the mind and spirit are things only the holder of such truly knows. Anyhow I do know that my own deamons have crept up on me a time or two in the last couple of months. This past weekend was the most recent. If you remember, the restaraunt issue i wrote about, I wonder who was truly uncomfortable? I was and still am comfy with my self. I did not like being stared at like a freak show though. I know for a fact, from my own self observations, and others, that i am no freak show. The world just doesnt know how to deal with a happy person i guess. 

So it poses the real last question, Should we change for others or be ourselves? I believe now in being myself. Happy, Free, and unconfined. Its like this folks, If you dont like church, Dont go. If you dont like sex movies, dont watch them. If you dont like steak, dont eat it. If you dont like a trans person, well, leave and stop staring. we arent hurting you and you us, provided you dont do what you hate, which is look at us. 

Maybe this will help some folks get over the phobia of being themselves. One last little piece though, we arent out to start trouble. we just wanna blend in and be one of the girls. WE dont want to go do 90% of the things people are claiming we are doing. The ones that are, well most likely are not a trans person.

TTFN

Love Candi

6 Comments Add yours

  1. “just want to blend”. My mantra.

    Like

  2. Thanks for the thoughtful post. It gives me points to ponder.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. candicejune says:

      I hope you are in a better spirit today. I hope you think about who is really uncomfortable when you are out. Be you Girl, be true to you and love yourself.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s so sweet, darling. Those boy clothes are still lying on the chair like a snake’s shed skin. Rachel’s made a bed on them haha. I’m thinking about putting on my best day make-up, dressing and treating myself to a fish lunch in town.

        Remember the first time you went out in public… the very first time. And you didn’t think you’d ever unclench your sphincter? Your armpits were damp and sticky because you just knew everybody was staring right at you? I thought those days were gone, but here it is. Unless i chicken out i’m going to test the waters and see what happens.

        Bless you for your encouragement. It means a lot to me.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. candicejune says:

        Yes i remember the days well. There are still times that i feel it wont go away and others i am happy as a lark. The few that do come now, i have to think, well i am what i am and thats all that i am, Popeye the sailor (wo)man. IF they look so be it, give em the finger. No not your wedding finger, unless they really want it, and be you. its not easy being us, its a tough row to hoe at times. but you even more than I, have come way to far to stop being ourselves. you are special and worth being yourself. Today, we just got back, i left in boy shorts and no bra to pay storage. The idea that im about to “male fail” is becoming a reality. So not to offend the storage lady i went as male as i could, yet my hair and shaved face show a different story. I really dont care much any more. To many years living for everyone but myself i suppose. I just am not planning on doing that anymore. At least anymore than absolutely necessary. Be strong hun, you were strong enough to get this far, your still strong enough to get past the naysayers. Yes we are all different, and i am not saying i dont have my moments. But i gotta get back on my horse if i get bucked or fall off. Failure is how we learn to succeed. Go get em tday girl. I know you can.

        Liked by 1 person

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