9 August journal

Good morning folks, it’s tuesday. Monday flew by and I’m not even sure I got anything accomplished. Mistress had dinner done by the time I got home. I had worked 13 hours. And I was pretty well done for by then. 

In something I haven’t done in a while istalk about how much a trooper my wife is. I know she is having a very difficult time with my transition. She feels she is losing me. No matter what I say or do. Love isn’t the issue here. Its the fact of physical and psychological changes. She has decided at this time to stay with me. I can only hope that the feelongs she has will change. I honestly dont have a clue how she has managed to stay with me all these years with my depression, anger, mood swings and a host of other things that would have had anyone leave. Though i tried and tried up until now to keep that at bay, it kept coming out.  But now I’m mostly happy and pretty well in good spirits. She has managed to keep some things in control herself. She os trying to understsnd me. I cannot imagine what she has in her mind about all this. And i can only see that it has to be tough on her part. Still I’ve tried to give her support and find other avenues of support for her. Frankly, there is not much for support to the spouse of a transgender person. They, like my wife are left stuck, with no way to express their grief and anger and how to deal with the transition. Granted many things happen and for some people, the transition is more than the person transitioning can bear. I have seen this from a stand point of looking in to the life of a friend, who is transitioningas well. She cannot handle it and has not dealt with the demons of herself to make the transition easier. How her significant othet has managed things to this point i dont know. She has also started the hormones way before me by at least 6 months. Any way its tough for all of us involved. And many times it doesnt go good. I pray that my wife finds it in her heart to accept me the way i am. To keep our relationship alive full 100%. I will support her and all that through what ever i have to do. She has done that for me, so i really should and will find a way to comfort her and help her in all this. 

I hope you all have a good day. I’ve to get busy with my work now. 

Ttfn

Love Candi.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. You have the right attitude to make this thing work, Candi. Realizing how difficult and hard to understand to the spouse your patience is really shining through. I pray it all works out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. candicejune says:

      Thanks, I’m trying. It’s easy to get caught in our own issues and not pay attention to the others.

      Liked by 1 person

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