As I prepare go to work, stomach in knots, I help think. About the failure I’ve become, the transition and what damage it’s done. My third marriage failed due to this “demon” inside. Do I continue, or not is the question. This side of me has haunted and destroyed lives, loves, friendships, and could cause the loss of family, and a job. Is this the signi need to say “hey you idiot, stop before you ruin everything”? Or is it another sign saying “hold your head up bitch, be happy and yourself.”?
I have no idea what this means right now. I’m scared, the unknown, and alone for the future is not showing good signs today. I did manage a few hours of sleep. Wife seems to be sleeping just fine and dandy. Usually and always my gut feelings are true. Other than the sad news, I’m not getting any gut feelings. I’m blank and feeling less.
Enough of that, I’ve got to get ready for work. I’ve got to try and get through today. Have a great day everyone.