16 April journal

Howdy folks, it’s Saturday in Candi land. The day seems to be turning out pretty good. I got up around four thirty and went out side for aa few minutes. I heard an owl make a noise. A loud deep hoot, sounding as the bird was large. I love that sound. It’s a reminder that line doesn’t stop after the sun goes down. Though my life does until I wake up well before daybreak. The early morning hours are my best time to reflect on stuff. But anyway I went back to bed for about two more hours.

In the early morning light,
I feel our love glowing bright.
As today becomes a memory,
Our love never dies sweet and savory.

I love my wife, though the last couple days it has seemed off.  I’m not really sure what’s going on. But I’m trying to stay positive that this is only a passing issue, something I am aware of.
We still have lots to discuss on this whole transition. I feel she’s not comfortable right now. She has been, and, she had been supportive. Just every now and then, she says something that tells me otherwise. It may only be the tone, or a a single word used. That little detail can throw me in a tizzy. Though I usually get out of it quickly now, there was a time it got me down for days.
I think some of my thoughts and sour feelings is the lack of physical affection. She isn’t to blame, I’m just as guilty. So I know there needs to be more from me. Maybe it’s just because I have to be gone for a week.
OK, enough of the pouty crap. The sun is coming and going. But it’s a nice day and we got some stuff to do. So I better get myself ready. We are to go to a thing we were invited to. So gotta go folks, have a great weekend.

Love Candi

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Cinn says:

    I’m sure it’s very hard for her. Hard doesn’t even seem like a good enough word…. I know when my sister transitioned, I grieved my brothers loss even as I welcomed my sister
    Many days I didn’t even know what I thought or felt….but for a spouse… I can’t even imagine.
    She obviously loves you…. YOU. Which is pretty awesome. Everything in her world is changing too. Try to be patient and continue to be open .
    This is got to be such an overwhelming time for both of you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers

    Liked by 1 person

    1. candicejune says:

      Thanks, Cinn. I had a feeling a couple years ago when I started following your blog from my other one, that there was something more about you. I’m glad I kept up with you. Thanks very much for you supportive words.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Cinn says:

        I have a trans sister and niece. I talked about it some on old blog I closed… But probably not as much as I should 😄

        Liked by 1 person

      2. candicejune says:

        That’s cool. I guess I never saw it. Though I was still fighting and hiding back then anyway. To busy pleasing every one but myself. That’s history now and we are working forward.

        Liked by 1 person

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