13 April journal

Happy hump day, to everyone. This will bring the slide to the weekend. Though my weekend will be short. That will be posted later. But it has me bummed out a bit. I’ll get over it though.
I actually got into bed at a better time last night but was still late. I do feel better in the tired department. However I’m still tired. No napping today either. Today is therapist appointment day. The third in my life. I’m hoping we actually start getting someplace today. I’ve actually taken the last almost a year dealing with this openly and helping Mistress do the same to understand me. All the while coming to terms and understanding my self. Breaking the fear walls and moving forward. Becoming more me. And yes it’s been a rollercoaster. At least up until now. Now it’s usually just happy and love, living the me, letting out the goodness that’s feminine making me feel great about my self for once. I can’t say I’ve ever felt more positive about my self. I wouldn’t change this fur the world at this point. If had i known and understood myself years ago, I world but be where I’m at now. Maybe I wasn’t ready, maybe I was and just didn’t embrace it. Either way I know I repressed it. Looking back I wish I hadn’t. But I cannot stew on what I didn’t do then, I have to look forward and be happy. I don’t care what the rest of the world likes, I do care what I am. I care about what Mistress has to say to help guide me in how to be a woman for her. Clothes, hair, shoes, standing walking and who knows what else. Yes I do my own make up. I’ve gotten lots better at it since my younger days, I’ve gotten better since last year. No matter what, we can never stop learning.
Back to the therapist, she send like a nice nonjudgmental person. I’ve had to get through the preliminary stuff I suppose is why we really have not gotten to the reason I’m seeing her. That’s the part that I am so muchly waiting for.
Well it’s almost time to get going to work. Things will be fine, things will go the way they need to. And I’m ready for it. When you try you can get what you want and usually what you need. Yay!

Love Candi

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