16 February journal

Hi everyone, I’ve found myself so busy lately. Busy with life in general. That makes enjoyment tough. It’s about time to go camping. Get away and just exist. No phones, internet or television. Matter of fact no radio, just the sounds of calming nature.
I got up this morning, did my normal stuff. Went to comb my hair. It’s stuck in fem style today. Left over from last night’s outing to the support group. So I just fixed it up in fem mode and left the house. I got to work, and put my ball cap on I wear at work. So we’ll see if it can be put back into fem mode when I leave work. I basically just don’t care anymore what others think. Unless I lose my job, it’s none of my business. It was great to see that feminine come out in me this morning anyway. Yum yum.
So last night’s meeting, was a better one. Genuine concerns and cares came out. None of the dramatic (i’m more important) people were there. That made it nice. It really became emotionally charged with everyone. We were able to talk about the real issues I felt. There are a couple people that come and one in particular is more me, me, me, than the rest. Reminds me of Leo Gets, from the lethal weapon movies. There may be some realness in her but I just don’t know. This support group had helped me a great deal in my own acceptance. Growing up in West Texas during the 80s as a teen, there was no place to turn and figure out the weirdness I had. Even during much of the nineties, I didn’t even know what a drag queen was, much less a transgender. I heard of transvestites, but didn’t know what our really was.  That was the term back then. It was around 2000 or 2001, that I dressed for Halloween and a couple other times. Realty ugly and scared but felt good otherwise. That was my first go around with a drag show. Only a spectator though. I couldnt pass if I wanted to. And my wife at that time as o only barely tolerant of it. With the internet now so full of information, unlike my past, I have learned so much about me. Mostly by my own soul searching. Because the need and desires to be fem never went away. Mom’s clothing was a place of naughtiness and a safe haven to be free and me. I’ve worn different things over the years, mostly under garments and such. But this whole coming out this go around had been truely liberating in my soul. I’m just glad my wife is here beside me. She is so supportive and all. But let’s do not leave her out in this. She has to accept many things in all this as well. As we both move forward, there is much we will have to discuss together. It affects her and me as a whole. Not just her or me. Once upon a time I thought I was the only person who “crossdressed”, and anyone I met who did was far away and few. Now that I’ve been living as one, and find support, I see I’m not the only one. And I find there are way more of us than I ever realized. Many times, we don’t even know we are next to our working with a trans person.
Back on the subject of the ball this weekend. I have Mistress’ gown repaired. Some how I happened to have the correct color thread. Left over from years gone by. It was great to have the right color for her gown. I still have to take mine in and will try to get that done tomorrow. To much happening today and I’m just to tired. While on this subject, here is a couple pics of our gowns for Saturday. I can’t wait to wow everyone.

image

image

The bottom one is hers. A bit more blingy than mine. But that’s OK. I know from her trying it on she will look great.
Well folks I gotta get back to work.
Ttfn

Kisses Hugs & Love
Candice

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Beautiful gowns. Shoes, gotta see shoes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Candi June says:

      Taking a pic of the shoes was an after thought. I’ll do that today. But yes we do have shoes.

      Liked by 1 person

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