Restroom debates

So, we’ve all seen it. The transgender restroom issues, and locker room issues. Two totally different problems in my opinion. They do have a common ground, opposite sex persons in the restroom/locker room.
First let us talk the restroom. As we all know we go to the restroom for one thing. Sometimes to tidy up makeup. No issue in my opinion. Trans and genetic folks have to do the restroom thing. If you are trans, you’re not going to be preying on others. At least the trans folks I know. We wanna do our business and get out like anyone else. We aren’t looking at genitals of the people in there. We are worried being outed and or attacked just as anyone else. Yes I believe in keeping our kids safe. Those people should have their just desserts and get what’s coming to them. But I notice in all this, the trans women are attacked and not the trans men. There are predators on both sides. I’ve even seen it in the news. Who knows for sure if it’s true. So why aren’t the totality of trans people being attacked? Anyhow, the need to use the restroom is just that. I personally don’t go into either restroom to stare at folks, start a fight, or of all things sexually prey on anyone. I’m so fearful of public restrooms that I avoid them at all costs. They are nasty, people look at you, and all kinds of stuff. Men’s restrooms especially. I usually always sit to pee. No matter which one I am using. Plumbing isn’t built right for being a good shot so to speak. So I get the nasty toilet thing. Even if I could why would I stand to pee in a women’s restroom. That’s an outing waiting to happen. Not to mention other issues. When I’m enfem, I tend to ensure I have someone go with me to the restroom. A genetic female friend preferred. This way of anything gets said then I have back up. This only happens in general population places like restaurants and shopping. Our bar scene is friendly and I have no issues there. Like I said I and others just want to do our thing and get out. It’s not a place to hang out and be all chummy.
Secondly, the locker room. I feel that unless you have had SRS/GRS you don’t need to be in the other genders locker room. I’m not talking breasts either. That will cause and issue for sure. It doesn’t matter if it’s a school or a pay for gym, or the YMCA/YWCA. You’re just asking for trouble that way. Physical differences of the nude body could be a shock and traumatize others. Especially young ones. Now if you’ve had SRS/GRS it doesn’t make much difference. Still I agree here that this is where the predators could easily do things to children and others. We are all vulnerable in a locker room. Nude, partially nude, pants and stuff half on leaving us exposed to such attacks. So yes I do have to agree on the locker room segregation for these reasons.
     Now to close, some possible solutions. Some exist, some don’t. Gender neutral public restrooms. A place that trans folks could use without persecution. Some exist called family restrooms. I’m not sure how well that would go but it’s better than being beaten to death or the cops called for using the others. Transgender restrooms, same as above but only for us that are trans or presenting other than what our birth parts say. That still leaves us open for issues but is an option.
Locker rooms, well this one is difficult. At the schools, for the trans students that are required Physical Education class, well assign trans students to that class at a certain time of the day. So all trans students will be in the locker room with themselves. They can go to either one. This will require therapist letters to be assigned to the class but is a solution. This would keep others from feeling preyed on, and the trans students safe. On to the outside world locker rooms; one or two days a week as a trans day. This way we can have access with out the persecution. We would be able to be ourselves that day though.
Now I know these solutions are kinda segregating. That’s not really what I want. It’s not truly correct to do that. But with the ideas that we as society have, is the best option it appears. At the public schools the idea may be the best option short of being excused from PE to be in another. That’s not healthy to a young growing body, or anybody due that matter. For those of us that present in our identities well, then we don’t have an issue in public restrooms unless they ask us to drop our pants and expose ourselves. That would be a violation in and of itself as well. Wet could be asked for identifying papers, but what if our gender marker is changed but not the plumbing? 
It’s going to be a difficult road on this no matter what is done. We all need access to the restroom at a minimum. Do we need to go to the gym as adult’s? No, we can choose to work out at home and run along the street, ride our bicycles. Then clean up at home when we are done.
But before we make rash decisions, govt and people alike we need to really think all this through. There is no possible way to please everyone. There are ways to make everyone satisfied. But 100% happy on both, well that just isn’t going to happen.
I’ve said all I can right now on this. I’m sure I’ve left something out. I’m sure that someone will give me a what for about what I have said. I have kids, they are grown and I have a grand child. I sure didn’t want my kids harmed and don’t want my grand kid harmed. So I do understand both sides of the issue. Don’t for once think that any true trans person doesn’t understand, though a very young trans person might not understand if they don’t have kids. So we aren’t predators, we just wanna do our business and leave. That’s all. Nothing you do or we do will ever stop an envious predator from entering and doing harm. Just like other issues. It’s tough to decide how to be neutral.

Kisses Hugs & Love

7 Comments Add yours

  1. Wonderfully thought out and presented. This shouldn’t be a problem but is. You have given everyone food for thought. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kandi says:

      You’re welcome. I’ve seen and heard so much on this issue. It’s time for solutions not complaints.


  2. Selina says:

    You know I have never really thought about this before…you have really good points

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kandi says:

      It sure wasn’t a last second thought.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Selina says:

        Thank you for making me more mindful to something I probably wouldn’t have thought about before.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Kandi says:

        You’re welcome. Hope I didn’t scare you

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Selina says:

        No, you made me think about how MY reactions COULD affect a trans person if I were to encounter them in the female bathroom. I would want to say I would be nice but would my demeanor/facial expressions convey that as well

        Liked by 1 person

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