6 May Journal


Well I would sure like to be nude right now. I don’t know if I would feel like the girl in the picture, but I would like it. It’s 5am right now. Horny and needing some BDSM play time. Boy it sure would be nice to have it happen right now. Call in from work and stay home. However it is that Mistress is still asleep.

730 am, I have a bad case of the don’t wants today. I am feeling submissive to the world and not of the world. I would rather be submissive to mistress. Like I said I need a break. Monkey and Lady are at Disney world. Boy I wish I could get off and go met them. They needed it I am sure.
I am unsure what to talk about now nothing comes to mind. And I guess I just am not thinking straight anyway. I think I am worrying to much about what it is that we need in our relationship. Its seems we have again lost our drive. Maybe due to the puppies or maybe she just hasn’t got the desire anymore. I have sent texts about it talked about it and still. Nothing happens. Do I just go on and not worry or do I push the issue of our desires and needs. I am not sure. I don’t want to seem selfish, but no attention in the manner of the lifestyle or even just our sex life is getting old. I know she is stressed over not having a job. I would have thought that with that she would be more interested in “play time” of any kind. Just to take her mind off the issue for a while. But that hasn’t happened. I give hints and clues to what I want to do. Does she have blinders on?
Another day is about over. I am ready to go home. To much drama here at work lately. The driver’s are being stupid and demanding things that are just stupid. “Go away please, I only had one nerve left this morning and you just stepped on it.” That is what I want to say. No actually I would love to tell them “grow a brain dumb ass”. But then they may play with it by removal.
Now that I think of it, yesterday I almost died 4 times due to idiots on the road. Almost got hit from texting drivers. I see them every day. I am going to blue my gotten at them every time I see a text and drive driver. It may save their life or even mine for that matter.
We are doing the vanilla munch this Saturday. It’s at a burger place somewhere. It was great fun the last time we met up with them. Hope we can have more this time. It’s basically for meeting and finding friends making new ones. Hopefully we can find some people to play with afterwards. But getting me ideas and just hanging out is cool too.
Tonights labor intensive dinner was brought to you by the letter “F”. F is for flogging, fire, fun, flat worn out. Its about 730 pm and i am tired. I did start making the new lock device. I decided on brass for this one for right now. I will post a pic tomorrow if i have time. Good night all you kinky people.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Wet Bliss says:

    If you push the issue it sounds like topping from the bottom…but you need to do more than drop hints if you’re not getting what you need IMHO. Nice fire


    1. abezure says:

      That’s why I try not to say any thing. I don’t want to to from the bottom and would just rather hint then maybe simply ask. Actually with all the stuff happening and lack of her having a job I think that has been the reason for the lull in our dynamic.


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