1 May Journal

Well there isn’t much I have to say today. My funk got worse with a text from Mistress. The day started like any other. The text came about 10:15 this morning. Mistress took our dog to the vet to see why she wasn’t eating, drinking too much water and urinating almost un controllably. She had her intestines twisted and kidneys were swollen. So she had to be put down. We have had this diff since a pup going 8-10 years now. I am sad she was the best dog I ever had. Great at watching the house. Being quiet unless some one encroach on the property. She had been camping and bike riding with us. She was just wonderful. I Will greatly miss her. So as o try to eat lunch between tears I will trudge through the rest of the day. I know my feelings of deep sorrow won’t last forever but it hurts so bad right now.
The loss of any member of a family Is hard. But for some reason I am taking my dog a bit hard. I have had several losses in the past few years and have been strong for the circumstances in comparison to this. I just don’t understand why. Why it’s this animal getting me harder than the humans I have lost recently. They were family too.
Well when I get home maybe I will feel more like posting some much better items than my dramatic dirty laundry. Sorry to bore you with this but being in my work place alone with no one to talk to, I have to write as I find time and as it comes to me. This is just more to the problems I haven’t talked about that has happened at work this week. That is anther story entirely. I won’t get into that. Take care folks I will write more tomorrow.
Stay tuned to the same slave channel and the same slave time. 🙂
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24 Comments Add yours

  1. theagingsub says:

    So sorry for your loss, abezure. It’s not boring, it’s real life and we are always here to hear it. You’ll be in my thoughts.

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    1. abezure says:

      Thanks

      Like

  2. missaisuhi says:

    Im sorry you are taking this so hard. But at least she not in pain any more.

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  3. emdimensionality says:

    Aw I’m sorry abezure. Reading your post made me tear up a little too. Our furry family members are a perfect example of unconditional love. They are always there, never hold a grudge, they just want pure love and give the same in return. Us higher mammals could learn a lot from these little creatures that bless us with their presence in our lives. 🙂
    I’m sending long distance hugs to your family. Be gentle with each other. Feel better. Xox

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    1. abezure says:

      Why would we be gentle? We like spanks and torture 🙂

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  4. emdimensionality says:

    Oh to be sure, there can be emotional gentleness in the most torturous physical demand. 🙂

    There can be gentleness in sacrifice as well. Sometimes we “sacrifice” by getting our itch scratched and sometimes we sacrifice by NOT getting our itch scratched. Both are service. One requires grace, the other is easy. Easy is more fun, surely. Grace it’s more rewarding, perhaps?

    It’s never easy to feel a need. I know, I’m right there teetering on the edge of desperation. I’m frightened and feeling like I am entering a season of drought. It has me feeling needy. Sad. But I am resolute in service to the greater good… no matter how I stomp and pout. In the end I pick myself up and soldier on.

    I hope you get your spanks soon, but I also hope that your Mistress is getting everything she needs… and sometimes those time tables don’t match up perfectly. To be honest, I think maybe they usually don’t? For anyone? More things to ponder.

    Thanks for inspiring thought. 🙂 Sorry for my rambling.

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    1. abezure says:

      That was more of a response than i was able to process. But yes we are all getting whatwe need. She seems to be in good spirits.

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      1. emdimensionality says:

        Hehe good. I wish I were so lucky! I’m sorry my situation is on the forefront of my brain right now. I’m sure I’ll settle in eventually and everything won’t be such a struggle. Bleh.

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      2. abezure says:

        I think we are on differnt pages of conversation. But maybe in my daze of loss i am not thinking right anyway.

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  5. emdimensionality says:

    I’m taking to myself really, you were just a catalyst. Our earlier conversions and earlier blog posts were on the brain. This just shows what a pretty cluster(;#@ my brain is right now. Apologies. Carry on.

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    1. abezure says:

      Ohno i am coming back to myself again now that we here at home have been talking and the shock factor is over.

      Like

  6. emdimensionality says:

    🙂 good

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    1. abezure says:

      You have mail. 🙂

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    2. abezure says:

      More mail madam

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      1. emdimensionality says:

        Thank you kind sir.

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      2. abezure says:

        Dont call me sir, i work for a living 🙂 lol

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      3. emdimensionality says:

        I think you madamed me first. Lol

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      4. abezure says:

        Um yes i did. It is our protocol here. I am to always respect a female, no matter sub/slave or Domme, and also domknant males.

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      5. emdimensionality says:

        Wonderful. 🙂 I won’t sir you as again! Lol

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      6. abezure says:

        Slave would be nice hahahaha

        Like

  7. Wet Bliss says:

    Sorry for your loss, I know how difficult it can be to lose a four legged family member. Always, be thankful for time spent together.

    Like

    1. abezure says:

      Thanks and yes we are thankful for all she brought us.

      Like

  8. Just saw this and felt much empathy. I have been nearly catatonic over the loss of pets before. They become my babies. Hugs. I hope you can think of fond memories wistfully soon.

    Like

    1. abezure says:

      Thanks

      Like

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