Last night, we had our play session after returning from our local dungeon. We didnt play there because she was uncomfortable with the group that was there. They were rather stand offish and did not want to speak much about anything. The demo was good, our friends from the lifestyle were there. But the vibe was all wrong with in that group. I think that was part of the issue I will describe later. we have two groups we enjoy, the first one our friends are part of and that is where we were invited at the beginning of our journey. The second is a more FemDomme Group and we seemed more welcomed and wish to return to it soon. Mistress work schedule has kept us away from the local dungeon and we just cant “play” enough.
Subspace seems to be elusive. I have found that it is more about letting go than staying close to the surface. The last two plays Mistress almost had me there. Then she stopped for what, I cannot remember. During those plays I just let go as I should and was close to the ever changing feeling of subspace, though I think. I am supposed to be sub slave to her and am supposed to just live and enjoy, be punished and allow Mistress her pleasures. But last night, after arriving home she got set up and just started as she has before, but I never could just lose myself. I dont understand why, something seemed missing.
The way to sub-space, in my new mind set, is not about forcing. It is more about release of desires, enlightenment, sunmitting. Allowing all your inners to just be the “putty” of you dominant. Letting all your thought go, all your soul, spirit, heart and mind must be allowed to open up and be the property of the owner, or should i say the potter of your submission. Letting go, giving all you trust to your dominant, knowing nothing will go wrong.
You cannot top from the bottom, it just wont be of pleasure. Lose your self in the feelings, pain and pleasure, its what you wanted, right? But directing from the bottom, worrying about your own safety, concerns of the world, etc… have to leave your mind. Basically its a type of meditation, emptying your mind, opening up your soul. Allow the pleasure and pain you asked for to enlighten you, sending yourself to the other world, like a spirit bath, sweat lodge, or any other way of spiritual release you can think of.
Giving yourself and your love to your dominant isnt enough. Its giving your soul, spirit, and any other deep dark secrets to them. This way the union of the D/s M/s relation becomes one. This is the special relationship we really desire deep down. All the spanking, torture, punishment, and service/ servitude means absolutely nothing with out it. As a sub slave, you have to give and recieve ALL to your dominant when you have that connection. Last night as i watched various scenes, i noticed a top from the bottom scene. He was not getting anything from the scene, nor was she. The conncection was not there. Oh yeah i am sure he was enjoying ghe Domme, who is very new, playing with his balls and cock, but he was not getting that true connection. The same could be said for several other scenes i witnessed last night as well.
So if you are a sub or slave, and there isnt a whole mind and soul connection, you may never reach “sub-space”. This doesnt mean there are no exceptions, but the real connection wont be there. Remember there are tons of subs, and very few dominants in ratio. So if you have a dominate, and there is truely a connection, be the best and make the dominate feel special, give your all, heart, soul, mind and spirit. The body will follow, and bring you pleasure beyond belief.